"Boy meets girl; they fall in love; families hate each other, so they can't be together. They marry in secret; girl's cousin kills boy's best friend, so boy kills girl's cousin. Boy is banished; girl gets upset. Girl hatches cunning plan to meet boy by pretending to kill herself; girl sends message explaining her cunning plan to boy, but boy doesn't get it. Boy hears girl is dead; boy is sad. Boy goes to her and drinks poison because he's so frickin' emo. Girl wakes up, sees boy is dead, and stabs herself. The end."
Best summary of Romeo and Juliet EVER WRITTEN.